Although you may not be fortunate enough to make salumi, salame, salumi in an approved USDA facility like me, you too could still propose to the woman of your dreams and live meatliy ever after!
1. meet the best woman in the entire universe and fall in love.
2. make sure she loves all things meat (pun intended).
3. make sure that she talks about your meat to her friends on the phone while in the bathroom stall. (she actually did this the day we met at a food show!)
4. make sure she dreams about visions of your salami dancing in her head (she actually said she would do this upon leaving said food show!).
5. make sure she truly loves you back, communicates sincerely, shares the same dreams, envisions a quality life.
6. become close friends with the chef and crew of local bad ass restaurant (Restaurant Twelve and Jeff Osaka) give him the down low info and the slice of the precious preserved palate pleasing morsel.
7. have said chef and crew serve the meaty ring with one of the evenings courses.
8. when served, get on one knee and propose (hope she says yes, if she says no you can at least eat the ring!)
optional: for a more traditional approach invite the parents of most amazing woman in the universe over to dinner to ask them prior to asking said daughter for hand in marriage.

